How your negative self-image puts you at odds with your lover. The short answer is: yes! Hating yourself puts you directly at odds with someone who loves you. You each have diametrically opposed points of view about you: your’s being negative and your partner’s being positive. So what can you do to resolve this dilemma? And why does this dilemma exist in the first place? Let’s answer the second question first by looking into self-hatred and where our negative self-image comes